A person feels pain when their unique self is not seen. This pain is made worse when a person is compared to a sibling. This can damage a person's sense of self and their relationship with family.
By Pawan Nayar · from the LLOS AI Learning record
A person feels pain when their unique self is not seen.
This pain is made worse when a person is compared to a sibling. This can damage a person's sense of self and their relationship with family.
A person feels pain when parents do not see their unique self. Parents might only see the space where a sibling's achievements should be. This feeling is like wearing an invisibility cloak. A person feels unseen for who they truly are. This is a deep fear for young people. Constant comparison to a sibling feels like always being second place. A person might achieve great things. Yet, parents still ask if a sibling helped. This creates a feeling of injustice. A person feels like a permanent runner-up in a competition they did not choose. Comparisons can damage the relationship with a sibling. This relationship should be a safe place. Instead, it becomes poisoned. This secondary pain is often more difficult than the personal pain of not being seen. When a person is always defined by who they are not, their identity is stolen. A person's identity becomes 'the-one-who-isn't-their-sibling.' This creates a crisis of self. A person struggles to find out who they are supposed to be.
A student works hard and gets good grades in art. The student's sibling is a top athlete. The parents praise the sibling's sports awards. The parents ask the student if they will try out for a sports team. The student feels their artistic talent is not seen or valued. The student starts to feel less important than the sibling.
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A person feels pain when their unique self is not seen. This pain is made worse when a person is compared to a sibling. This can damage a person's sense of self and their relationship with family.