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Touch is the way people use their hands or bodies to make contact with someone else. Children experience many kinds of touch every day: playful taps, caring hugs, gentle pats, or checks from a doctor. Some touches are safe and kind; they help us feel loved and cared for. Other touches can be confusing, uncomfortable, or frightening. It matters for every child to learn how to tell the difference because this helps keep their body safe and their feelings respected.
Teaching about touch does not aim to scare children. Instead, it gives clear rules and useful language so children can protect themselves. When children understand touch, they can say how they feel, set limits, and seek help when needed. Adults must listen carefully and respond kindly. Learning about touch also creates respect: children learn to ask before touching others and understand that everyone has the right to choose what happens to their body. Early lessons build confidence to speak up, to say no, and to tell a trusted adult if something feels wrong. This topic starts with simple examples and feelings so children notice whether a touch is safe or not, and practise steps they can take to stay safe.
Private parts are parts of the body that are usually covered by underpants and swimsuits. Teaching children the correct, simple names for these parts helps them speak clearly when they need to tell an adult about a problem. Using proper names is a safety skill: it removes confusion and helps adults understand exactly what happened. Parents and teachers should use calm, matter-of-fact language so children do not feel ashamed.
Explain that private parts are private because they are personal and only certain people may see or touch them, such as for bathing or medical reasons, and usually only when a trusted adult is present. Show examples of when touch by a caregiver is okay (like a doctor checking an injury with a parent in the room) and when it is not okay (anyone touching private parts and asking the child to keep it a secret). Practise saying the words at home so the child can say them easily if needed. Reinforce that it is always right to tell a trusted adult about any touch that felt wrong, even if the child feels unsure or embarrassed. Adults should respond calmly and protect the child’s privacy after they speak up.
Good touches make us feel safe, loved or cared for. They include hugs from family when you are happy or sad, a pat on the back to say well done, or a doctor gently checking a sore knee while a parent watches. A good touch respects your feelings and your consent — you do not feel scared or forced.
Bad touches are those that make you feel scared, confused, hurt, or uncomfortable. A bad touch might be someone trying to touch your private parts, unwanted kissing, or someone asking you to keep the touch a secret. Sometimes a bad touch can come from someone you know. This is why children must understand their feelings matter. If a touch feels wrong, it is important to trust that feeling and act. Practice helps: role-play different situations and teach children to say no, move away, and tell an adult. Adults should never blame a child who reports a bad touch and must help the child feel safe. Teaching clear examples of good and bad touch helps children recognise risky situations and seek help without fear.
Knowing how to say no and how to get away are practical skills every child should practise. A strong, loud 'No!' paired with stepping back helps create space. Teach short, clear phrases such as 'No! Stop that!', 'I do not like that', or 'Do not touch me there'. Practise saying them with friends, family, or teachers in role-play so children feel confident to use the words if they are upset or scared.
Moving away quickly is the next step. Show children how to step back, run to a safe place, or go to another adult nearby. If they cannot leave, teach them to make noise — shout, bang, or call for help to attract attention. After getting to safety, the child should tell a trusted adult what happened. Adults should praise the child for speaking up and make a plan to keep them safe. Reinforce that saying no is okay even when the person is older or familiar. Repeating short drills and praising correct responses makes it easier for a child to act quickly and bravely in real situations.
Trusted adults are people who will listen, believe, and help keep a child safe. Examples include parents, grandparents, teachers, school counsellors, police officers, or other family members who behave respectfully. It is good for a child to name at least two trusted adults so they have options if one person is not available or is the problem. Discuss with children who these adults are and where to find them at home, at school, or in the neighbourhood.
When a child tells a trusted adult, teach them simple clear steps: say what happened, who did it, where it happened, and when. Practise short sentences like 'Someone touched my private part' or 'I felt scared when X did Y'. Adults should respond calmly, thank the child for telling, and avoid asking too many leading questions that increase shame. The adult’s first job is to keep the child safe and provide comfort. Afterwards, the adult may need to inform parents or authorities and arrange medical or counselling support. Role-play helps children practise telling and reduces fear; reassure them that they will be believed and helped.
Secrets can feel exciting or frightening. A good secret is a safe surprise, like planning a birthday party; it makes people happy and is not harmful. A bad secret is something that makes a child feel scared, worried, or unsafe. Often a bad secret involves someone asking the child not to tell anyone about a touch or incident. Teach children that bad secrets are not to be kept because keeping them can harm the child and hide bad behaviour.
Explain simple rules: it is okay to keep good surprises secret for a short time, but anything that makes you feel strange, scared or uncomfortable must be told to a trusted adult. Practice examples with the class: ask whether each scenario is a good secret or a bad secret and explain why. Encourage children to tell right away and to show any messages or items to an adult. Praise children when they share a bad secret; adults should respond supportively and protect the child. Making this distinction clear helps children choose safety over silence.
Children use phones, tablets and the Internet more and more. Online contact can be fun, but it also creates risks. Teach children simple safety rules: do not share personal details (full name, home address, school name), do not send photos of private parts, and keep profiles private. If anyone online asks for private images or meetings, that is unsafe and must be told to a trusted adult immediately. Remind children never to agree to meet someone they met online without an adult present.
Show children how to save or show messages to a trusted adult instead of deleting them. Teach them to block and report users who make them uncomfortable. Explain that online requests for intimate pictures are a form of bad touch in a digital form — they are serious and adults can help. Parents and teachers should set age-appropriate parental controls, talk about safe apps, and encourage children to ask for help when anything online feels wrong. Practise by reviewing example messages together so children know what to look for and how to act.
After a child tells a trusted adult about a bad touch, the adult must act quickly to protect the child. First, the adult should listen calmly, believe the child, and thank them for telling. Avoid asking too many questions that could make the child feel blamed. The adult will then make sure the child is safe and decide on next steps, which may include informing the parent or guardian, contacting school authorities, or seeking medical or counselling help.
Explain to children what might happen next in simple words so they feel less worried: an adult may speak with other grown-ups who help, arrange a health check if needed, and make a plan to keep the child away from the person who caused harm. Counselling can help the child talk about feelings and recover. Reassure children that reporting is the right choice and they will not be punished. Role-play telling and adult responses so children know what to expect and understand that adults will work to keep them safe and supported throughout the process.