How can I keep a toddler engaged on a video call?
Tape a piece of paper to the screen and draw together! Give the toddler a crayon and you use one too. Seeing you both 'work' on the same canvas keeps them engaged far longer than just talking.
What small, physical object can you and your grandchild share during video calls? How can you incorporate that object into a game or activity?
The tablet glows. Your toddler stares. On the screen, Grandma waves, sings, and smiles. But your child? Unmoved. A toy dinosaur gets more attention than a loving relative. You feel a pang of guilt, a flash of frustration. Is the distance too much? Is technology failing you? Is connection impossible? The good news: you can build a bridge. What if connection isn’t about what you say on the screen, but what you do?
Young kids, especially toddlers, engage in parallel play. They play alongside each other, not necessarily with each other. A toddler video call can feel like forced performance, not genuine interaction. Your toddler doesn't yet grasp the concept of interacting through a screen. A study showed that children under 3 years old struggle to transfer social skills learned in person to video calls. This is because their brains are still developing the ability to understand symbolic representation. To entertain a toddler on a video call, you must tap into their natural instinct for parallel play.
Aisha, age 3, lives in Mumbai. Her grandparents live in Canada. Aisha's mom tries to schedule weekly toddler Zoom calls. Aisha often wanders off during the call, more interested in her toys than the screen. The parents feel guilty that Aisha isn't bonding with her grandparents. Then there's Lars, in Sweden. His grandmother knits him a special blanket. During their toddler FaceTime calls, she has an identical blanket. Lars snuggles with his blanket while she snuggles with hers. The sensory bridge helps him feel connected even across the miles.
Try this week: tape a piece of paper to the screen. Give your grandchild a crayon. You get one too. Draw together.
Say this: 'I'm making a blue circle! What color will you use?'
Then try these smaller moves:
- Sing a song together, even if you don't know all the words.
- Play 'I Spy' with objects in your view.
- Read a book aloud, showing the pictures.
Expect to see more smiles and fewer wandering eyes. A toddler video call becomes a shared activity, not a passive viewing experience.
Toddler video calls are not mini-meetings. Transform the screen from a barrier into a shared canvas. Doing something together helps the connection feel real.
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Common Questions
Simple games work best! Try 'Simon Says', 'I Spy', or peek-a-boo. Sing songs with hand motions. Read a book aloud, showing the pictures. Keep it short, fun, and interactive to entertain a toddler on video call.
Keep it short and sweet. Aim for 5-10 minutes. A toddler's attention span is limited. End the call before they get bored or fussy. It is much better for a video call toddler to want more, than it is for the parent to desperately grasp at straws to keep the call going. You can always call back later!
Don't force it! End the call. Try again later, maybe at a different time of day. A crying toddler is communicating. They might be tired, hungry, or just not in the mood. Respect their feelings. End the zoom call games for toddlers.
Meaning comes from connection. Plan a specific activity. Share a story about your day. Ask simple questions about theirs. Listen actively to their responses. Remember, even small moments can create lasting memories. For example, Grandpa Joe always wears a funny hat during his toddler FaceTime calls with his granddaughter, Lily. It's become their special thing.
Use toys, puppets, books, or musical instruments. Wear a silly hat or glasses. Have a themed background. Anything that adds visual interest and encourages interaction will make a toddler virtual visit more fun.
Show them photos of the person. Talk about them often. Share stories about your relationship. During the call, use their name frequently. For instance, say, "Look, [Grandma's Name] is wearing a blue shirt, just like yours!" Reinforce the connection. You can even start the call by saying something like, "Hi [Grandchild's Name], it's Grandma/Grandpa [Your Name]!"
Remember, toddler FaceTime is connection, not just screen time. You're building a relationship. You're sharing love. You're creating memories. This is quality time, even if it's through a screen. You can even focus the call on an activity like reading a book or singing a song. This can help alleviate any guilt you may be feeling.
Express your gratitude for their efforts. Frame your requests as opportunities for connection, not burdens. Offer to be flexible with scheduling. Suggest short, frequent calls instead of long, infrequent ones. For example, you could say, 'I know you have a lot going on. Would it be possible to schedule a quick 5-minute call with [Grandchild's Name] sometime this week? I'd love to read them a quick story.'