What's the best way to use apps like Meetup or BumbleBFF?
Treat Meetup like a class: go consistently, participate actively, and don't expect deep friendships instantly; BumbleBFF works best when you suggest specific activities *you* want to do (pottery, hiking), filtering for people who already share your interests instead of hoping to discover them later.
What's one activity you've secretly wanted to try but haven't because you had nobody to go with? Could Bumble BFF or a Meetup group be your solution?
Your home office has become an echo chamber. Your own anxieties are the only voice you hear all day. Each morning, you tell yourself today will be different. You will finally text that person from the gym. You will sign up for a pottery class. Yet the day ends the same way. Alone with your screen. What if there was a way to find people who already share your interests?
Making friends as an adult comes down to one unsexy thing: proximity. Social scientists call this the Proximity Principle. You are more likely to befriend people you see often. Think about it: your childhood friends lived nearby. College friends were in your classes. Your goal isn't to find a soulmate across town. Instead, look for the 'good enough' friend who lives close by. One study showed people are four times more likely to form friendships with those living next door than those living across the street. This is why apps like Meetup groups and Bumble BFF can work.
Aisha, 34, of Mumbai, felt unseen after moving for her husband's job. She joined several Meetup groups, hoping to find other moms. At first, Aisha felt awkward and worried about her English. Soon, Aisha found a book club. She started to look forward to discussing stories with the women each week. In contrast, Emily, 40, of Seattle, felt isolated after leaving a demanding corporate job. Emily turned to Bumble BFF. She wanted hiking buddies. Emily found people shared her anxiety about making the first move. Both Aisha and Emily wanted connection. Both women needed a way to find it.
Make Meetup or Bumble BFF a regular part of your week. Treat it like a class you've paid for. To make it real, try this:
Say this: "I'm going to [activity] this [day]. Anyone want to join?"
Smaller moves you can make:
- Update your profile. Add specific interests. Don't just say "travel." Say "hiking in the Alps."
- Set a timer. Spend 15 minutes a day browsing events or profiles.
- Message one person. Suggest a specific activity you're already planning.
Realistic outcome: You will still feel awkward sometimes. You will still face rejection. You're still way more likely to make a friend than if you stay home.
Adult friendships take effort, but are worth it. Treat apps like Meetup and Bumble BFF as tools to find people nearby. Suggest specific activities you want to do, and the right people will appear.
🤔 Which thinking lens(es) did you use?
Select all the lenses you used while thinking about this:
Common Questions
No. Many adults use Bumble BFF to find local groups with similar interests. Loneliness is common. These apps help connect people who are looking for companionship. Don't feel strange about using tools designed to help you build your social circle.
Simple questions work best. Ask people about their favorite part of the event. Inquire how they heard about the group. Comment on something specific related to the activity. For example, if it's a book club, ask what they thought of the latest chapter. A good script is: "Hi, I'm [Your Name]. What made you decide to come to this meetup?"
Look for groups with recent activity. Check the event calendar. See when the last event occurred. A group that hasn't hosted anything in months is likely inactive. Active groups regularly schedule events and have member interaction.
Acknowledge the fear. Remind yourself everyone else is there to meet people too. Plan your outfit ahead of time to feel more confident. Have an 'escape plan' in mind if you feel overwhelmed. Tell yourself you will stay for just one hour. Often, just getting there is the hardest part. Consider bringing a small notebook; doodling can make you look busy but approachable if needed.
It happens. Don't take it personally. Some people are shy or have their own anxieties. Focus on enjoying the activity itself. If you tried your best, that's all that matters. Next time, try a different group or event. Consider smaller events for more interaction.
Be cautious of profiles with limited information or only a few photos. Reverse image search photos to check if they are real. Meet in public places for the first few meetings. Video chat before meeting in person to verify identity. Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. One woman named Sarah met a Bumble BFF 'friend' who claimed to be a photographer, but Sarah later learned the photos were stolen from a professional's website.
Set a limit. Dedicate a specific amount of time each day or week. Avoid endless scrolling. Treat it like any other task. When the time is up, log off. Remember, the goal is to connect in real life, not just online.
Suggest a low-pressure activity after a few positive exchanges. Mention a shared interest from their profile. Suggest a coffee, walk in the park, or visit to a local market. Be specific about the time and place. A good script is: "I saw you like hiking. I'm planning to go to [Park Name] this Saturday morning. Want to join?"